A Question of Heart

What would you feel, if your best friend changed his behaviour drastically from a saint to a no-good student? I feel sad, angry, and at the same time I pity him too. I knew him in Form 1 and we are classmates in Form 3. At that time he's not talkative, always obey the school rules, achieve well in academic and don't even dare to speak to girls. I shall not reveal his name, but his name means "Perfection" in Arabic. He fared better in PMR, scored 8A while I only managed to get 7A.

When he entered Form 4, he started to change The first thing that I notice that he no longer wear his 'songkok', which is his identity before. He no longer flush when talking with girls, but he went too far in this particular aspect. Got himself a girlfriend and become the hot gossip of the school. According to a reliable source, their relationship broke up and that was a turning point that changed his personality. To relieve the pain in heart he started to befriend those no-good guys and started smoking. His results started to fall, he only managed to get half the number of A that I scored in the Mid-Year Examination. By right he should score better, he is a brighter student than me, in fact I learned a lot from him.

His personality change make our relationship cold and bitter, my no-nonsense policy translated into my actions. I growled at him in the public regarding his smoking habit, distancing myself from him so I shall not get 'infected'. I actually have planned with a good friend of mine to confront him today and have a slow talk with him, to try bring him back to his goodself. But the plan can't be carried out because of some unforseen obstacles. What I could do now is just pray to Allah that he will realize his mistake and change, hopefully in this few weeks before SPM starts.

Come to think of it, thank God that I had nothing to break up. This is the very reason why I choose to wall my heart from a girl - until I'm ready to break it one day. The loss of my grandfather had already affected me so much. Yes, it do brings poitive impacts to me, made me strive harder for excellence and to be a better Muslim . But at times it bring sorrow to me, especially when I'm alone. Only God knows what would happen to me if my heart is not walled off and then dumped just like that.

This reminds me the last song the late Zairie of Raihan had wrote:

Bonds of Love

Why are you so sad
And why is it so bad
When someone leaves you behind
Won't you ever know
Don't you realise
It's just a part of life
When you fall in love
With someone sometime
It's smile with a broken heart

Only falling in love
With Allah
The bonds of love survive

No mountain too high when there's a will
No river too wide believe there's a way
Come to Allah you'll never fail
The truth's so close it shall prevail

Allah we belong to you
And everything we do
We do it all for you
Allah always by our side
Guiding us to the light
Everything shines bright
No matter day or night

Ya Hafeez, I can't never thank You enough for all Your protection.

- Sound of Bonds of Love by Raihan -